today was a hard day for me, a lot of painful cramping in my abdomen and a general feeling of wooziness all around. i had been anxiously awaiting dave's arrival home from work all day, now that we are working together it is hard for me to be apart from him, it was the first time in days that i haven't been able to see him all day and i was really missing him. i have been doing a lot better lately in general. work has helped me feel useful and i have already lost four pounds in the four days that i have been on weight watchers, but for some reason yesterday was brutal. one of the women that i work with is due four days before i was due and looks ready to pop and another co-worker has a wife that is due that same week, and yet another co-worker had an appointment with his pregnant wife to find out the gender of their baby, so it seemed that all the conversations at work were centered around pregnancies and babies. i did a good job of focusing on what i was doing and remained composed and friendly, but i started crying on the way home. it is hard to know that our baby would be due in about two weeks...so dave came home and had me shut my eyes and when he told me to open them he was holding this willow tree figure that is titled "serenity" and tears filled my eyes at the outpouring of love dave always shows me. dave told me that when he saw this figurine he really was struck with the feeling that everything would be alright...like our baby was saying, "be still, mommy, be still." i looked up the definition of serenity and it is "a disposition free of stress or anxiety" what a beautiful message to me sent with such love from my dear husband. i really couldn't ask for a better husband or a truer friend. i love him more than i could ever express.
4 comments:
Your post made me tear up. What a sweet husband to bring you such a thoughtful gift. I am so sorry that it was a painful day. It is hard to see those around you get the thing you most desire. Especially when you've experienced such a loss. I am glad that Dave takes such good care of you!
Thanks for your post. What a sweet sentiment from Dave. I, too, am happy that he is so good to you. We love you!
Oh Julie. I am so sorry this hurts so much. Your post made me tear up too. But I do believe--and the blessing you received recently confirmed that--you will be a mother. I love that idea of "be still." One of my favorite hymns is "Be Still, My Soul" I love ir for it says, "Be still my soul, the Lord is on thy side." Love you forever and I love Dave too.
Julie, I went through the same thing last year at this time. I still cannot get through moments without crying. I ended up getting pregnant 6 months later... and our baby boy was born April 4th. I don't know the words to express b/c there is nothing like the loss you feel. I actually ended up planting a garden for the baby, whom I named BB - Beautiful Baby. Please know that I feel for you... and know that a baby will come again. For me, my BB was due the same time as 2 of my girlfriends... the beginning of November of this year was very tough for me... I actually ended up buying a Pink and Blue balloon and setting them free on Nov 7th, 2006 - my due date. As I write this I have tears in my eyes... it's a tough thing to go through. .. and I feel your pain. If you ever need to talk... audrey523@mac.com is my personal email.
And I must say... I love your blog... and I love your name!
- Audrey
Pinks & Blues Girls
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