"did i ever tell you how lucky you are"

in the movie "breakfast at tiffanys" the main character, holly golightly talks about having the mean reds and how the thing that cheers her up and takes her to a better place is getting into a cab and going to tiffanys, the jewelry store. today i was having the mean reds and something that cheers me up is reading children's books. dr. seuss is a particular favorite of mine. there is something about the simple truths, fun rhyming schemes and fantasy worlds that he creates that makes my heart smile and i feel better.

this excerpt is taken from today's choice of after-work reading:

"he sat in a terribly prickly place.
but he sang with a sunny sweet smile on his face:

When you think things are bad,
when you feel sour and blue,
when you start to get mad...
you should do what I do!

Just tell yourself, Duckie,
you're really quite lucky!
Some people are much more...
oh, ever so much more...
oh, muchly much-much more
unlucky than you!"

thanks for giving me a new perspective dr. seuss

everything happens for a reason

Newton’s third law states: For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. I know that this is a law of motion, but doesn’t it seem like it is a law of intangibles as well? For every action, word or thought, there is an equal consequence…at least that is what the whole world conspires to tell you about life from the time you are a small child, maybe even from the time you are born…good guy always wins, good things come to those that wait, those that work hard find success, those that don’t play fair will be punished, etc.

Sometimes when life’s blows seem a little too hard or too frequent I can’t help but wonder, “what did I ever do to deserve this?” What action, thought or word of mine merits this extreme consequence? This past weekend was another tough one for me as I was nauseated beyond belief, dizzy and exhausted, and cut my date to dinner with dave short because I couldn’t handle the sight of food. Life is so very taxing right now but I keep moving forward, even though it seems I am on a backwards escalator and all moving forward does is keep me from falling further down below. One of the “inspirational” quotes that I find most bothersome is this: “Everything happens for a reason.” Who came up with this one? And more importantly, why did it stick? As human beings, we want to believe that there is a purpose for everything because we can’t stand the idea that life could really be so random and cruel. There isn’t a cosmic reason for everything. We try to make sense of loss and pain because then we have a way to grasp it and can control, at least in part, our response. We tell the story to ourselves in a way that makes it easy to digest, giving it that spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down…we can’t handle the fact that life is harsh and cruel and sometimes, there is no explanation.

tribute to rachel

rachel & julie 1985


julie & rachel 2002



tonight my sister rachel and i went out to dinner and to ikea to celebrate her upcoming birthday. it was such a sweet experience for me to spend some time alone with her and take a trip down memory lane. we used to share a room and we would use this tape player to record our voices onto blank tapes...always singing and making up fun stories...we had so much fun remembering all the adventures we have had together. i feel so lucky to have such a great sister who has been such a blessing in my life. i like to think that i have always taken care of her, but since we have been "grown up" she has done a lot of taking care of me too. she and her husband have welcomed me into their home, to live for months at a time before i got married...she was the one who wrote me the most letters when i left to go to college in a different state...she is the one who did my hair and makeup for my wedding and she is the one i have spent countless childhood hours laying in bed giggling with. thanks for the memories rachel. it was a wonderful night.

one word meme

thekirnancrib tagged me with this meme today. love her blog, check it out...in turn, i am tagging celebrate, gustogirl, a force that brings good fortune, hopelessromantic and time-for-a-paws(i have linked to other bloggers on my posts in the past, i don't know why i am having trouble today, there is a link to these posts to the right under "my favorite places")...blog on ladies...


me in one word

1. Where is your cell phone? purse
2. Relationship? married
3. Your hair? dark
4. Work? admin
5. Your sister? beautiful
6. Your favorite thing? laughter
7. Your dream last night? forgotten
8. Your favorite drink? propel
9. Your dream car? montero
10. The room you’re in? bedroom
11. Your shoes? barefoot
12. Your fears? infertility
13. What do you want to be in 10 years? calm
14. Who did you hang out with this weekend? dave
15. What are you not good at? sleeping
16. Muffin? poppyseed
17. One of your wish list items? prius(for dave)
18. Where you grew up? sugarhouse
19. Last thing you did? wrapping
20. What are you wearing? pajamas
21. What aren’t you wearing? socks
22. Your pet? none
23. Your computer? laptop
24. Your life? wonderful
25. Your mood? wistful
26. Missing? nana
27. What are you thinking about right now? work
28. Your car? montero
29. Your kitchen? functional
30. Your summer? surprising
31. Your favorite color? pink
32. Last time you laughed? today
33. Last time you cried? today
34. School? exciting
35. Love? dave
36. Name? julie

my new ride

my husband is good to me. he told me last week he wanted to buy me a new car. my honda civic has been a good car for me, but it has just become too darn hot to drive my it because it does not have good air conditioning. we went with a mitsubishi montero and we picked it up tonight. i am loving this car. it is so fun to drive. dave takes such good care of me. he told me today he has been wanting to buy me a new car for a long time. i am happy with the car we have chosen. i have not had the chance to take a picture of it yet, but here is a picture i found online of the same car:

life is fragile, handle with prayer...

i was thinking today on the nature of mortality, about how fragile life and each one of us are. last week i got the results of my blood test, not good news...i found out that i not only have endometriosis but also have pcos(polycystic ovarian syndrome) and the doctor told me i would not ovulate on my own anymore...so many tears were shed and it was only a few hours after my nana died. i have been thinking about all she taught me in my life and she told me in december to have more faith, that she knew we would have children someday and i have been holding fast to that conversation the last week. life is full of miracles every day, but you have to have an eye for them and so much of the time i don't. the bad things seem to shout out their presence and hit us in the face with their inconvenience and pain, but the miracles only whisper softly to us. what a blessing for me to have such a great nana. one of the things that remind me of my nana the most was a wallhanging she had made several years back that reads, "life is fragile, handle with prayer" what a beautiful sentiment and it rings true to me. life is fragile, and the only way to handle it is with hope, love and appreciation for the beauty and miracles that surround me.

my first tag

mom of three
tagged me with this, and i am tagging like a star and gustogirl and the daily knack

1. Were you named after anyone? i was named after my dad's little sister that died at birth.

2. When was the last time your cried? yesterday at my nana's funeral.

3. Do you like your handwriting? it serves it's purpose

4. What is your favorite lunch meat? depends on my mood, chicken salad sandwich from skool lunch sounds good right now.

5. Do you have kids? not yet...

6. If you were another person would you be friends with you? yes

7. Do you use sarcasm a lot? not as much as i used to

8. Do you still have your tonsils? no

9. Would you bungee jump? yes

10. What is your favorite cereal? it changes frequently, honey nut cheerios for now

11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? no

12. Do you think you are strong? i am getting stronger by the day

13. What is your favorite ice cream? ben & jerry's mint chocolate cookie

14. What is the first thing you notice about people? eyes & smile

15. Red or Pink? pink

16. What is the least favorite thing about yourself? my tendency to be hard on myself

17. Who do you miss the most? my husband when he is away on business trips

18. Do you want everyone to send this back to you? n/a...just posting it on my blog

19. What color pants and shoes are you wearing? black yoga pants, no shoes

20. What was the last thing that you ate? medicine and a glass of milk

21. What are you listening to right now? neighbors playing in the backyard

22. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? i would want to be something bright and happy

23. Favorite smells? don't have a sense of smell

24. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? my brother eliot

25. Do you like the person who sent this to you? yes

26. Favorite sports to watch? not a fan of watching sports

27: Hair color? dark brown

28. Eye Color? hazel

29. Do you wear contacts? no

30. Favorite Food? mexican

31. Scary Movies or Happy Endings? happy endings

32. Last movie you watched? serial mom

33. What color shirt are you wearing? red

34. Summer or winter? summer

35. Hugs or Kisses? hugs

36. Favorite Dessert? changes frequently, strawberry & creme frappucino right now (thanks to laura)

37. Most likely to respond? no idea

38. Least likely to respond? ???

39. What book are you reading right now? the alchemist, confessions of an ugly stepsister
40. What is on your mouse pad? none

41. What did you watch on TV last night? serial mom

42. Favorite Sound? dave's laughter

43. Rolling Stones or Beatles? the beatles

44. What is the furthest you have been from home? europe

45. Do you have a special talent? i like to make people laugh

46. Where were you born? salt lake city

47. What superpower would you like? the power of healing