i am participating in throwback thursday this week. it is hosted by the fabulous women over at pinks&blues check out their blog, it is great!


My nana passed away yesterday and i have been reflecting today on so many fond memories with her. i searched and searched and was unable to find the photos of her that i know i have somewhere, so i decided to post some pictures to honor my own wonderful mom. i love her and my heart is with her at this time of loss. my nana, such an extraordinary person, has left quite a legacy. I have had a feeling of peace today because i know my nana knows that i love her and i know she loves me. i am who i am because of who my nana was and the way she lived her life. thank you nana. you will be forever loved and missed...

my mom holding me when i was an infant



i love my mom

chadder's restaurant: where you definitely are not In-N-Out...

this is the menu for chadder's restaurant where dave and i went for dinner tonight:


look familiar? this menu is almost identical to the menu at In-N-Out burger. i had to get blood drawn today and just basically had a lousy day, at least the bandage they wrapped my hand in was pink...anyway, because dave knows i love In-N-Out burger, he thought it would be fun to drive to american fork and try this new restaurant that In-N-Out has filed a trademark infringement lawsuit against. In-N-Out says everything from Chadders building to its menu is a rip-off of In-N-Out Burger. We decided to stay in the car and go through the drive-thru to order our food. it took over a half an hour to even get to the window. they messed up our order three times before getting it right. we had to explain our order six different times, two times each to three different people, including the manager...remember this is only an $11.00 order total for two people...to quote dave, "let's take this from the top...again" honestly i have never had such a frustrating or lengthy fast food experience. i think we would have preferred driving to las vegas and back for the real deal...at least it would have been quicker.

good thing we are going to california in august...In-N-Out, here we come...

empty arms...

I am once again awake when it seems the rest of the world is sleeping. it is quiet, and this is the time i reflect on things...i hear the crickets outside my window. i read yesterday that crickets are a good omen...i hope so. today was a hard day for me. time was dragging on at work and i started to have some pain in my abdomen...while this is common for me, today it was a little more intense and i breathed slowly and prayed that time would speed up so i could go home and rest. dave and i had planned to go to the gym again after work, even brought our gym clothes with us so we wouldn't have to go home first, but by the time five o'clock mosied up to us, i was doubled over in pain. dave did not think working out was a good idea, so we stopped to pick up some dinner and headed home. i have taken percocet and tylenol pm and they have not helped to ease the pain or induce sleep. when i am in physical pain it is much harder to deal with sadness, add exhaustion to that and you have a recipe for the mean reds(breakfast at tiffany's is one of my all-time favorite movies)and in addition, tomorrow is the day our baby that we lost in december was due. i think emotionally i have been feeling better each day, but i am still struggling with my health and it doesn't seem to have improved much at all. I go in to take some blood tests on tuesday and i am just praying that everything will be okay and we can get some information on what is happening...i love babies, i always have. i have loved babies since i was a baby. here are a couple of my favorite babies(even though they are not babies anymore):

summer of 1982 holding baby rachel, i'm almost three and now i am a big sister
- quite certain she is the first baby i ever held



thomas is born. i distinctly remember that rocking chair and how each child in our family took their turn sitting in it to hold my baby brother...and i remember the moment he was placed in my arms for the first time. i remember thinking how special that moment was and that i had to be very careful because he was a new baby...


today my arms are empty. it is hard to think about what might have been...it feels as though i am constantly being subjected to tests of my strength and courage. i look forward to the day when i will be holding my own baby, but for now i enjoy the memories of babies i have loved and taken care of and the wonder and joy of seeing who they have become. oh the possibilities that life holds for each one of us...

our first anniversary...

Dave sent me these flowers at work and when the florist walked in i just gasped at how beautiful they were, when he said they were for me i just about started crying. Dave always makes me feel so beautiful and special. all day people walked by me and said things like, "i'm so jealous" or "someone loves you"...i felt like zuzu in "it's a wonderful life" when she didn't care if she was sick and needed to go to sleep, she didn't want to because she just wanted to look at her flower. that is how i felt all day today at work...i just wanted to look at my flowers.


Dave had made reservations for dinner and he would not tell me where we were going because it was a surprise. It was such a fun, romantic dinner. i am sure we will be going to dinner there again. everything we ate was so delicious...


the first anniversary is paper traditionally and for him i printed out some of our wedding photos and framed them in a black frame collage frame with white matting and a gift certificate to REI so he could buy some fun new cycling stuff. he gave me tickets to go see mamma mia when it comes in august and a body pillow to help me sleep at night. it was really a red-letter day for me.

June 20, 2006

my sisters in the bride's room before the ceremony


here comes the bride


dave


julie


kate wants to hug the bride


our wedding cake


after the ceremony

"everybody's working for the weekend"

well the last week at work has been painfully slow. i am an assistant and my boss was out of town on business last week. i finished the work she gave me in half the time i was scheduled to work so ended up losing hours and money going home early. last week i realized that my boss would only be in town one day this week and i was going to run into the same problem. oh man, i only work three days a week as it is. the company i started working for has had a high turnover rate for the receptionist position. they have had a temp filling in because they have been through so many...i started thinking that maybe i could fill that position and still accomplish the things i help my boss with...i could get full time hours, and it wouldn't matter if it was a slow day because i would be doing another job as well. i pitched this idea to my boss today and i start full time tomorrow. it all fell right into place. it will be nice to be working full time again and to have some extra money for the weekends...and it means i get to spend more time with my husband(he works in the same office) talk about a win-win situation...

fun new game

A Meme of Fives

INSTRUCTIONS: Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog to the bottom slot, like so.


1. Relaxed Parents

2. SusieJ.

3. 3 Boys and a Lady

4. Pinks & Blues Girls

5. pinkmorning

Now for the fun part — the questions:

“What were you doing 10 years ago?”

i had just graduated from high school and was on my senior trip on a houseboat in lake powell...

“Five snacks you enjoy:”

1. apple slices
2. string cheese
3. sugar snap peas
4. chips and salsa
5. dried mangos

“Five songs to which you know all the lyrics”

1. you've got a friend - james taylor
2. total eclipse of the heart - bonnie tyler
3. just a friend - bizmarkie
4. american pie - don mclean
5. america - neil diamond

“Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:”

1. buy dave a new car
2. pay off our house
3. go back to school
4. spend some time with dave in brazil
5. give fun gifts to all of our family members

“Five bad habits:”

1. picking at my nails
2. scratching(i have eczema)my legs too much
3. Spending too much time on the internet
4. playing bejeweled on my phone (i have gotten a little better)
5. brushing my teeth too hard(they just don't feel clean with a soft head)

“Five things you like doing:”

1. listening to music
2. going out with dave(especially to movies)
3. making people laugh
4. Having great conversations
5. blogging(writing in general)

“Five things you would never wear again:”

1. pegged leg jeans
2. two pairs(contrasting colors)of socks.
3. white eyeliner
4. skorts
5. mile-high bangs

“Five favorite toys:”

1. ipod

2. internet

3. kitchen aid electric mixer

4. digital camera

5. rummikub game