what flower are you?

I am a Snapdragon What Flower Are You?

You Are a Snapdragon
"Mischief is your middle name, but your first is friend. You are quite the prankster that loves to make other people laugh."

"let me call you wheatheart" and other favorite songs

i adore music. i love all different types. today i was searching for some of my old favorites, the songs that take you back to yesteryear...the ones that are reminiscent of a more innocent, joyful time and i did a search for "let me call you sweetheart" on itunes and was surprised when the search yielded no results...i then looked at what i had typed in the search field. I realized that instead of sweetheart i had typed wheatheart and i laughed out loud. my sister laura used to sing this song with the enthusiasm and joy of a young girl without the S. it is one of our family stories that is always remembered with a sweet poignancy. it wasn't until i read "let me call you wheatheart" on the computer that i realized why i love this song so much. i love this song because i love laura so much...and when i hear it i picture her in her "do it with gusto" t-shirt and coke bottle glasses singing it sweetly to express her love for her family. it is funny how a song can be a vehicle to take you to a different place in time.

about eighteen months ago i was spending some time with my nana at my aunt rosemary's house. it was about a week before christmas, and i had been reading her some of my favorite christmas stories. i could see she was getting tired and had become bored with television, so i put on a dean martin cd that i had packed in my purse to play for her. the cd had not been playing for long when my nana reached for my hand. she had a look of peace and contentment that i had not seen in her in quite some time, and though i never have met him, i could feel my papa in the room. dean martin isn't what made my nana happy, it was being taken back to being with my papa that made her sparkle. some of the songs i love are my favorites because of who and what they represent to me.

some things never change

ten things about me that have not changed since high school (in no particular order)

1. running errands in my pajamas
2. making fun of the sad parts in movies that make me feel like crying(and sometimes while I am crying) to lighten the mood and make others laugh.
3. laughing at my own jokes(i think i am the funniest person alive)
4. saying someone doesn’t like me if I don’t know how I feel about them(maybe as justification, who knows?)
5. singing out loud to songs while I am driving alone
6. feeling better when the magic 8 ball gives me the answer I am looking for in my moments of serious dilemma or sadness...(putting my faith on a plastic toy for my most difficult moments... i guess i am a kid at heart, or an idealist)
7. visiting my father’s grave when I am feeling hopeless about something and need a pick-me-up
8. being prepared for any given situation, whether packing a backpack, glovebox or handbag…always carrying the essentials(everything is essential, by the way) such as: tylenol, toothbrush, toothpaste, mini hairbrush, visine, bobby pins, elastic bands, floss, chapstick, lotion, bandaids, tweezers, mini notebook for interesting thoughts, pen, mascara, sunglasses, camera, cell phone, kleenex…you get the idea, almost like I am channeling ally sheedy’s character in the breakfast club
9. listening to punk rock versions of classic old songs or musicals like less than jake’s rendition of the grease soundtrack, stand by me by pennywise, or you are my sunshine by screeching weasel, to name a few. It is like two different parts of my personality are fused together to create a fun new sound to some of my old favorite songs.
10. bargain or thrift-store shopping(i usually like the good deals i get better than the actual items)
11. making random lists of random things that I find interesting or amusing in some way(this list is proof, and it makes the grand total eleven things about me that have not changed, not ten... but if i did have a number twelve it would probably have to be pointing out the obvious)

a disposition free of stress or anxiety

today was a hard day for me, a lot of painful cramping in my abdomen and a general feeling of wooziness all around. i had been anxiously awaiting dave's arrival home from work all day, now that we are working together it is hard for me to be apart from him, it was the first time in days that i haven't been able to see him all day and i was really missing him. i have been doing a lot better lately in general. work has helped me feel useful and i have already lost four pounds in the four days that i have been on weight watchers, but for some reason yesterday was brutal. one of the women that i work with is due four days before i was due and looks ready to pop and another co-worker has a wife that is due that same week, and yet another co-worker had an appointment with his pregnant wife to find out the gender of their baby, so it seemed that all the conversations at work were centered around pregnancies and babies. i did a good job of focusing on what i was doing and remained composed and friendly, but i started crying on the way home. it is hard to know that our baby would be due in about two weeks...so dave came home and had me shut my eyes and when he told me to open them he was holding this willow tree figure that is titled "serenity" and tears filled my eyes at the outpouring of love dave always shows me. dave told me that when he saw this figurine he really was struck with the feeling that everything would be alright...like our baby was saying, "be still, mommy, be still." i looked up the definition of serenity and it is "a disposition free of stress or anxiety" what a beautiful message to me sent with such love from my dear husband. i really couldn't ask for a better husband or a truer friend. i love him more than i could ever express.

where does the time go?

ten years ago tonight i graduated from high school. although i knew this day was coming soon because i was contacted about three months ago for a reunion, i didn't realize it was upon me until today. early this afternoon i was at work(yeah, i work now) and i was entering in a stack of files into our system and for each one i had to type in the date. after i had written the date about three times i realized it was ten years to the date of the day my life as a person, not just a high school student, started. i mentioned this to my co-worker and she just laughed and told me if i thought ten years was weird, to wait until it was twenty. i couldn't help but think about how fast time goes. i have often thought about the way we define ourselves and today i started contemplating how the definitions and labels we give ourselves while we are young, basically still children can completely shape who we become. i started a new job this week and i am lucky enough to get to work with my husband. one of the women training me laughed and said that she always thinks about the first day of a new job like the first day of school and told me i was lucky because at least i knew someone, i already had a friend. i started thinking about that today. i know i am a very different person from the one that i was in high school. i have had many experiences that have made me examine what i am made of and what my beliefs and priorities are and that have just plain stretched me, and put me in a place of discovering not only who i am but what i have the potential to become. i never could have imagined the adventures(the good, the bad and the scary) that i have had in the last ten years, but in many ways i am the same. i still love to make people laugh...i still like to have many friends with a variety of different interests and personalities because i have so many different interests myself and i enjoy experiencing new things with other people...i still love reading, writing, singing and acting... i still love meeting new people, even though i don't know if i am as outgoing as i once was, i think that some of my travels have taught me to be cautious and not let myself be vulnerable, sometimes causing me to miss out on possible friendships, i guess i have to work on that one....i still love to learn and that is great because as long as i am living i will be learning. even though i am no longer in school, i get to be a student for life...

when the lights go out...

well i have not been feeling very good this weekend. the medication my doctor gave me has made me feel really nauseated and dizzy so dave went to blockbuster and got us some videos so that we could just relax in our nice cool air-conditioned house. we had just put in one of the videos and the power went out. we called the power company and they didn't have any answers for us. they let us know that about 175 people were without power but did not know why or when they would have it back up...dave and i decided to play board games. we play rummikub a lot, so we only played one round of that game, but then we decided to play monopoly. we bought this game when i was pregnant but we had actually never opened it up to play. it was so fun to sit and play the entire game from start to finish, i don't know if i have ever done that before. i remember playing it with my brother eliot a lot years and years ago but i would tire quickly and would want to stop playing. it was a fun way to spend our sunday afternoon and by the time we had finished playing, we called the power company again and over 1000 people were without power but the estimated time was down to under an hour....i was amazed at how fast time went by because we were so involved in our game. i was also glad the power came back on shortly after nine in the evening so we had some time to cool our house back down before bedtime... and i won the game(maybe that is why i found it so fun)

my ipod: the soundtrack of my life...

i just read about this ipod game on my sister rachel's blog and now i am a firm believer...i have always loved music and the power it has to bring me peace and inspiration and it is nice to know that my ipod knows me fairly well. i could not believe how well my ipod answered these questions about me...dave just laughed and laughed at every answer...check it out

INSTRUCTIONS:

1. Put your music player on shuffle.

2. Press forward for each question.

3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn’t make sense.

How do you feel today? when velma takes the stand- chicago soundtrack

What's your outlook on life? myself - the ataris

What does your family think of you? I can’t believe - buck-o-nine

What do your friends think of you? stars - les miserables

What do your exes think of you? can’t buy me love- the beatles

How's your love life? understand your man - johnny cash

How will your love life be in the future? relax - frankie goes to hollywood

Are you good at school? I’m not dead - pink

Will you be successful? unsaid - mxpx

What song should they play at your birthday? butterfly - weezer

What song should they play at your graduation? superhero - ani difranco

The soundtrack of your life? the river is wild - the killers

You and your best friends are? number five with a bullet - taking back sunday

Happy times? believe - smashing pumpkins

Sad times? no good deed - wicked soundtrack

Every day? parallel universe - red hot chili peppers

For tomorrow? maybe I’ll catch fire - alkaline trio

Foryou? Ava adore - smashing pumpkins

What does the next year have in store for you? easier said than done - mxpx

What do you say when life is too hard? bridge over troubled waters - simon & garfunkel

What do you want as a career? beauty school dropout - grease soundtrack

Your favorite saying? new slang - the shins

How will you die? certain tragedy - saves the day

you should try this game. it is, at the very least, entertaining.